You Spin Me Right Round, Baby

"....right round, like a record baby, right round round round."

Okay, I have to disagree wholeheartedly!  I'd change Dead or Alive's lyrics to, "You spin me round and I hate it baby."  I know that may sound funny, and it is meant to be, but I do mean what I said in all seriousness.  To completely understand what in the world I'm talking about, let's start at the beginning.

A few weeks ago, I experienced these really weird dizzy spells.  I really don't have much experience with dizzyness aside from the occasional merry-go-round, or you know, my beloved Teacups ride at Disney.  Either way, it's been years since I've done either of those things, so I really don't have much personal experience to go on.  The first time, it was like a constant state of semi-dizzyness and I chocked it up to allergy season being newly upon us.  Hey, I did have pretty strong sinus pressure in my forehead, so I thought that simply must be it.  The only thing that concerned me was that I'd never experienced dizzyness with allergies before, and it got so sketchy once that day while driving that I felt it best to pull over.

Then, I was good for awhile.  A week or so later, it happened again, only this time was much more scary!  I literally got so dizzy that I almost passed out, and again I was in the car and had to pull over.  I got so shaky and I tried to drink water and eat the chocolate that I just so happened to have in my car, and that did help after about 20 minutes.  By this time, though, I was convinced I had some sort of crazy brain tumor that was affecting my world!  I did the best thing I could think of and called my doctor - I had to have an appointment that day!

The only way I could describe this dizzy feeling I was getting is this:

Yes, that is your Chicken Wing (and the mandatory "We got cows." graphic) in a tornado.

Ridiculous, yes.  As accurate as I can be without actually having ever been in a tornado, also yes.  After several tests at the doctor's office, it was determined that I was suffering from BPPV, or Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo.  We call it just vertigo around these parts, to keep it short.  Basically, it's an inner-ear issue that can pretty much pop up and affect anyone. 

There are calcium crystals in your inner ear that dislodge from their normal places and begin floating through your ear canals (you have three in your ear, and they're called the Labyrinth).  While you always have fluid in these canals, the crystals aren't supposed to be floating along, too.  Ultimately, the example my doctor gave me was this:  In a normal circumstance, if I turn my head to the left, fluid flows through the canals and hits the little fibers in the canal.  This sends a message to my brain that says, "Hey, guy, I just turned my head to the left.  In case you needed to know."  (Or something like that).  In BPPV, the crystals slam into the little fibers, and the vibrations that causes are so intense that too many signals get sent to your brain at one time, and your brain has no idea what you just did.  So, you get really dizzy until your brain can figure it out. 

Is this fun?  No.  Does it make you nauseus?  Um, yeah.  Did I find myself army crawling across my bedroom floor at certain points?  You betcha, Sir!  I had to miss two days of work!  That's how you know how terrible it is!  My treatment period of crystal-moving exercises and anti-motion-sickness medication is two weeks, and I'm hoping that I'll be back to 100% after that!  I surely would love it!  The only bad thing about vertigo is that it can reccur later, and there's really no way to know that it's going to hit.  :(  I guess the silver lining, though, is that at least I should know what it is next time, and I won't go straight to panic and fear!

So this has been my journey with something totally random that simultaneously scared me to death and made me feel like a completely crazy person.  I've been shocked at how many people have reached out to me who have also experienced vertigo!  Some folks had mild cases, others had it so bad they couldn't drive for a MONTH, but everyone could easily agree that it's miserable and horrible. 

My PSA to all of you readers out there:  If you're feeling any of the symptoms I did (and am), please make an appointment with your doctor to get checked out.  Then, do the exercises and take the medicine as directed, and please, don't try to be a hero!  Pull over your car if you feel like this!  My doctor said he was so proud of me for not risking my life and the lives of others because your vision and ability to adjust to your surroundings are severely compromised with vertigo!

Have a happy and healthy week!

Until next time,

Why Struggle Is Necessary

A few friends and I were discussing the absurd entitlement that children and young adults today employ when a situation arises that is less than favorable to them.  It's a disgusting epidemic that is circling the globe and it saddens me beyond belief, especially when I have my rare moments of entitlement.

Sure, we all have weak moments where we feel someone "owes" us something, or that we really, really "deserve" to get this/have this happen for us.  The people who have it right usually recognize this behavior is occurring within themselves and snap out of it.  Unfortunately, that leaves the rest of the entitlement generation who seem to consistently have it wrong.

During this discussion, we shared stories about where we have helped people younger than us, and we also had to divulge that in some cases, we probably weren't doing them any justice because they could always rely on someone else to "handle" things for them.  Sadly, I think this is one of the most rampant issues in America today - we are babying our nation's children to the point that they literally cannot fend for themselves.  This creates weaker adults, who then marry other weaker adults and produce children three times as weak.  The cycle goes on and on.

I was reading another article today, though, and came across a story similar to those we were sharing with one another, and it was accompanied by "The Tale Of The Butterfly," which I had actually never heard before.  So, I will share it with you, and I encourage you to share it with others!  Let's pass this thing around!

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A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body.
Neither happened!
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly. 
(Author Unknown)

How fitting it was to read and to realize that sometimes, despite our own best intentions, we stunt the growth of others that so desperately needs to happen.  Trying to over-care and over-nurture others does not make you a bad person - quite the opposite, it makes you someone who genuinely wants to help.  But there has to be a point where you have to step back and realize that your help is crippling an individual that needs to learn lessons their own way - and most times, the hard way.

Until next time,

Pray For These Tragedy Victims

I went back and forth over whether to show this video or not, but I wanted to give you a visual if you've not yet seen it in order to further the tenacity of your prayers for the victims and families of the victims of this horrific accident! {WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS VERY HARD TO WATCH.}

I'm not sure if you've heard of this yet, but tragedy struck the Sugarland concert at the Indiana State Fair this weekend when 60mph winds took down the stage, killing at least four people and injuring at least forty others.  I ask you to put these people on your prayer lists and to lift them up.


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Heavenly Father, please hold each and every person affected by this horrific accident in Your hands and lift them up during this very difficult time.  In Your Name, I pray.  Amen.

Until next time,

10 Relationship Don't's

Okay, so where did we leave off last time?  Ahh, yes, with some things that you should "do" in relationships.  Now, on to the flipside of my non-professional opinion!

10 Relationship Don't's:

1.  Don't talk negatively about your partner to others.

This is a tough one.  Let's get serious - sometimes your partner is going to do something that drives you crazy, or makes you want to go postal on unsuspecting victims.  There are going to be times when you need to vent about it to someone.  Newsflash:  That's okay!  The trick here is to make sure that you're speaking about your partner in an objective way, and not a negative way.  There is no need to drag your significant other through the mud when he/she has done something that doesn't suit you.  You can discuss a situation without ranting about it.  Also, a sidenote here that I've learned from experience:  if you want to have a venting session, it's always better to do this with a friend and not your family.  God love them, but they will judge your partner FOREVER on everything and it doesn't matter if the judgment is made on good things or bad things.

2.  Don't stop planning together for the future.

We, as humans, were designed to move forward.  Stationary is not in our DNA.  When you stop creating dreams with your partner (especially dreams for your future together), you drift apart.  Think about it - it's good to set goals and have dreams for yourself.  I want to get this job.  I want to one day afford a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes.  Whatever floats your boat.  The same is true of your relationship.  Set goals for the future.  One day, let's try to buy a house.  In three years, let's start having children.  Let's renew our vows at ten years.  Let's save our money and plan that amazing vacation we've always talked about.

3.  Don't be automatically defensive.

This is one that I constantly struggle with.  What can I say...I'm nothing if not scrappy.  Sometimes, I have a hard time distinguishing the difference between a calm, constructive conversation and a full-blown ambush-style attack.  I work really hard to practice listening over defending myself because sometimes, it's genuinely not necessary.  Sometimes, people tend to miss the point of the conversation because they're busy plotting their rebuttal to the first thing that was said.  This is not a good, nor effective practice, and therefore, it made my don't list.

4.  Don't be the end-all, be-all in your relationship.

Okay, say it with me, friends - "Smothering leads to death."  I have a hard time keeping my lunch down when I see a couple who is so imbalanced in regards to time spent apart from one another.  I have literally had to force myself to not react or say something I shouldn't when I see someone literally go off because their significant other is hanging out with his or her friends.  Oh, the horror.  It's good for you to have friends.  It's good for your partner to have friends.  It's good for each of you to see said friends on a semi-regular basis.  Everyone gets busy, but time should be made for friends.  If your man/woman wants to have time with their boys/girls, let them go - even if you don't have any plans for yourself.  (Cue horrified face.)  Use that time by yourself to read a book, take a bubble bath, watch a movie that your partner doesn't want to see, do laundry, exercise - take time for YOU.

5.  Don't lose yourself.

This one goes hand-in-hand with number four.  Oftentimes, I've witnessed people who completely change when they start dating someone new.  They're more concerned with being whomever their partner desires rather than being themselves and finding someone who wants who they are.  Here's a fun fact of the day - dating is usually hard.  The "right one" is not dangled in front of your face for a reason - you have to do the work!  That's why you date.  You don't decide that you like someone, then figure out what they like, and then turn yourself into that, all chameleon-like.  It's not healthy.  Don't drop your friends and family and become obsessed with the person you're dating.  The right person will fit into your life because they are a part of your life, not because they've become your entire life.

6.  Don't go to bed angry/don't leave angry.

There are different schools of thought on this one, but I'm on team "don't do it."  I can get behind the "take a few minutes to cool down" scenario, but I cannot accept someone rolling over and going on with life as though nothing happened.  Something happened.  Hash it out in the calmest and most constructive way you can.  The goal is that both parties can go to sleep satisfied about something.  Everything might not work out just the way you wanted it to, but it will be better in the morning, even if you are tired and cranky. I'm also big on not storming out on someone when you're angry.  Number One, you SHOULD NOT be driving when you're that emotional.  Number Two, how is the other person supposed to trust you to stick around if you are constantly showing them that you'll walk out?  No bueno and no me gusta.

7.  Don't allow fear to be the driving force in your relationship.

In life, crap happens. Someone most likely will treat you badly in some form and you will be forced to carry the baggage of that around (maybe even for the rest of your life). While it's unfortunate, you're not alone in this, and the trick is to not let the baggage weigh you down. You cannot punish your new partner for an old partner's mistakes. They are not the same people and should not be compared to one another. It's okay to use what you've learned and experienced in past relationships to make your current relationship better, but you have to really be attentive and know when you're allowing the fear of what happened before hinder what could happen in your future. Don't beat yourself before you even begin something beautiful.

*Sidenote: In all honesty, if you feel your baggage is too heavy to deal with, please seek out a therapist. There is absolutely no shame in that, and there is an entire profession that exists to help people with all kinds of situations! All you have to do is seek help.

8.  Don't value being right over being a loving partner.

If your relationship's dialogue consists more of, "Boom!  In your FACE!" than anything else, there's probably some big issues there.  We all love to feel the high of being right.  Even better?  The high of knowing that other people know you're right.  That's okay, but you have to keep it in check.  Don't put more into proving to your partner that you're right than you do into finding a solution.  Who cares if your partner swore up and down that Richard Gere starred in Dirty Dancing when the entire world knows it was Patrick Swayze?  I've witnessed folks get downright nasty about something as trivial as that, and it was sickening to see them revel in embarassing their partner in front of people.  Uh-uh.  Not cool. Need more info? Check out number one of this very post.

9.  Don't use what you have as a weapon.

Your love. Your intimacy. Your families. Your kids. Your secrets. Your dreams.  All of the things I just listed are the puzzle pieces that your relationship is made of.  These are things that are sacred and precious to you and to your partner.  How many times have you heard someone say, "Oh yeah? Well, you just cost yourself ____."  "You can consider the kitchen closed." "Well, if you're going to be that way, I guess you won't be needing ______."  Do not threaten your partner with any of these things.  That is a low blow to beat all low blows. 

10.  Don't define love as a noun.

Something I've come to understand is that love as a noun is ephemeral. (Ephemeral means 'lasting for a very short time.')  It's conditional.  "I'll love him as long as he never does this."  "If you ever cheat on me, I'll leave."  There are many conditions we've all heard before that "determine" whether or not someone will stay with their partner.  I've also seen so many times where love was spoken but not done.  I try to define love as a verb - it's something that we do.  Saying the words doesn't make them so.  It's the actions that make someone understand that you're in this for the long haul.  I am starting to understand unconditional love in relationships.  I've seen people go through things that I've seen ten other couples end a marriage over.  Guess what?  In about 90% of those cases, the couples who stayed together and worked through their issues are some of the happiest and most fulfilled people I know.  The ones who left?  They've bounced from relationship to relationship because they accept what is as status quo.  They don't stand and fight for their relationships.  I choose love as a verb.

*Sidenote:  There are some things that SHOULD NOT be accepted.  Abuse is one of those things.  Putting your partner in danger is one of those things.  There are always exceptions to any rule, and I would never encourage anyone to "stay and fight" if they're up against someone who takes that literally.  If you find yourself in a situation like that, please ask for help and get out.  The right person is out there waiting for you, and you don't have to take that anymore.

As I've said in the posts before, these are simply lists that I wanted to jot down primarily for myself.  I want to take my own advice and I want to put to action what I've learned over the years.  I'm not qualified, nor should I be used as the end-all, be-all for your relationships.  I don't want any, "Well, Miss Chicken Wing said it so it must be so" situations on my wings. (Get it, I could have said 'hands' but that would be silly.)

I hope we all can help one another out in making our relationships better than ever!  I want us all to be more than happy, and I started this series because I get asked for advice when people see that I've lived through certain situations.  I figured that there may be someone too shy to ask, and maybe these could help you out!


Until next time,

Let's Talk About Relationships

I've decided to create a small blog series about romantic relationships.  Lord knows I've learned a ton about relationships through the years, and I haven't even been married yet!  There are so many variables when it comes to relationships and I have a hard time stifling my uncontrollable laughter whenever I hear someone say, "You'll know you've met the one when everything is easy."

Yeah, okay.  My advice to you, friend? 



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Sure, things can flow very smoothly, and you may find someone that you're exceptionally compatible with.  There's still what is called the 80/20 rule.  Never heard of it?  Allow my good friend Tyler Perry to explain it to you through his sensational film, "Why Did I Get Married?"


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Basically, keeping the 80/20 rule in mind, you're going to continually be faced with choices in your relationships. Times will get hard, and you will never get 100% of what you need. That's why no one has the perfect relationship.

I actually was in a public place the other night and heard a couple in a drag-down, knock-out fight. I mean, they were really going at it. The man in the relationship was being extremely sarcastic and short. The woman in the relationship was so demeaning, loud, and rude. Ultimately, they were airing their dirty laundry IN PUBLIC and all that was successfully happening was that they were feeding off of each other's meanness to see who could verbally hit the hardest.

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That horrific scene caused me to think about relationships and the lessons I've learned throughout the years, and I thought I'd share two posts with you - the first post is about relationship do's. The second is about relationship don't's.  Keep in mind, these are not scientific.  I am not a therapist nor an expert.  These are just some lessons I've learned or things I've learned to be true along the way. I'd also love to hear any insights that you all  have to offer!  The more we share with one another, the better we all will be!

Until next time,

Magical Pixie Dust!

For those of you in the blogging community, especially those like me who have never been considered a computer genius, you know that every cool little thing you discover is like magical pixie dust!  The next thing you know, you swear you just saw a leprechaun walking a unicorn across a rainbow!

My most recent dose of magical pixie dust is the little tiny icon of my beloved damask chicken wing!  You'll notice it by the web address in your browser bar and also on the name of the internet tab where you see THE BLOG OF THE CHICKEN WING.  This was a major victory for me and some of you may be wondering how to accomplish this yourselves, so I figured I wouldn't keep this pixie dust to myself!

For starters, this is called a favicon (fave-eye-con).  It's really just an extra-special touch as it's completely unnecessary, but I happen to like it and think it continues the branding of your site.  So, the first thing I did was read this article --> click here!  It was so easy to understand!  I used the first reference he gave to upload my icon, which was http://www.iconj.com/generator.  After uploading my image, and sharpening +3, I chose option 2, which was "Host It at IconJ.com: (Direct Link)."  I copied and pasted that code instead of the one that the first guy gave, just where he said to put it.  I hit 'Save,' 'View Blog,' and badda bing, badda boom - I had a favicon!  :)

I know this is such a simple accomplishment, but I am very happy to have figured it out finally!  I'd been wondering how to do this for a long time, and just couldn't think of the correct way to search for directions.  But, friends, this is yet another example of why we should never give up.  You'll get there one day, so keep chipping away and using your thinker, and everything will work itself out!  :)

Okay, enough tech talk for me.  I feel the need to go shopping to get back to something I've always been good at.  ;) 

Until next time,
Miss Chicken Wing

IF YOU ARE ABLE, I WOULD LOVE YOUR HELP!

NOT-SO-FUN FACT OF THE DAY:
Today an estimated 5.3 million Americans are living with Alzheimer's. In addition, 78 million baby boomers are approaching the age of greatest risk for developing this fatal disease.

This will be my second year supporting those affected by Alzheimer's, but it is the first year that I am supporting someone I actually know and love. I have been personally affected by this disease, and so I'm participating in the Alzheimer's Association Memory Walk® to raise funds and awareness to fight this horrible disease. Our walk last year was a great success, and there were people from all walks of life showing their support - by walking, by running, by donating!


The Alzheimer's Association is the leading voluntary health organization in Alzheimer care, support and research, and funds I raise will go directly toward supporting their efforts. I know I can make a difference with your support, should you feel inclined to give it! I also know that the current economy has made all of us re-evaluate where we allocate our monthly intake. It's definitely made it harder on everyone, and that is why I will be so thankful for any pennies I may receive towards this year's campaign! Thank you in advance for checking out the blog, and I cannot thank everyone enough for their extreme generosity - together, we can help end Alzheimer's!

Please copy the link to my page (below) into your web browser:
http://memorywalk09.kintera.org/lynchburg/endalznow