The Gang's All Here

Sorry for the delay in checking in, Peeps, but this week has been a full one at the Casa de Chicken Wing.  You see, my sweet friends (whom I'm indebted to for the rest of my life for introducing me to and setting me up on a blind date with Comanche) went to the beach and were going to board their sweet dog, Lily.  I was having none of that, because - let's face it.  When it comes to dogs, there is always a party going on over here.

CiCi, MuChi, Wilkie, and Lily have been conducting their own three-ring circus, and it's been quite entertaining, to say the least.  It's been a large amount of time since I've witnessed wrestling to rival these four, and so I had to take a little video to show you the hilarity that has been going down on a daily basis this week.

Okay, let me set up the backstory here, so the video will make a little bit more sense.  First, you have the wild child in my house, Wilkie.  While I absolutely love the stuffing out of him, he is the red-headed stepchild of the family because he has the attention span of a gnat, and he has what I call Dory-syndrome (you know, Dory, from Finding Nemo).  Like his fishy counterpart, he can be scolded or warned not to do something, and after a half-a-second rebound rate, he's right back to doing the same.exact.thing.  It's a good thing he's cute, because the only way I could tolerate that behavior for a long stretch of time is if Ellen Degeneres was around - what?  She's funny.

Next, you have CiCi, who has to decide whether she really, really, really wants to play or not.  Why, you ask?  Because Wilkie beats the crap out of her.  I don't know if he just dials in to the fact that she's a pomeranian, too, but she is the target of his playtime energy bursts 99.9% of the time.

Then, there's Lily, the new girl in town.  She began her interaction with the others as the one who would only join in the game once the others turned their backs.  Now, she's gotten her confidence up and she's ready to come off the sidelines!  (She's the light-colored dog in the video).

Finally, you have The Mooch.  He is the cutest darn thing, but he takes MAJOR issue to what he considers to be violence.  I mean, if someone hugs me too hard, or if Comanche and I are dancing in the living room and he dips me to prove that he could hold his own on one of my favorite dancing shows, MuChi flips his lid.  He automatically assumes that I'm hurt and he must express his despair.  Throughout this video, you will hear crying.  That's my son.  The rest of them are having a ball, and he's boo-hooing, "Can't we all just get alooong?!?!?"

So, enjoy, peeps - too much cute for one house, right?  I know you wish you were my roommate!



Absolutely adorable, right? Please excuse the excess of bottles on my coffee table waiting to be refilled by the Brita. Also, if you could look past the extreme mess and disarray - it turns out that four puppies want to play with all of the toys all of the time. (Who am I kidding - they all do that!)

Until next time,

10 Relationship Don't's

Okay, so where did we leave off last time?  Ahh, yes, with some things that you should "do" in relationships.  Now, on to the flipside of my non-professional opinion!

10 Relationship Don't's:

1.  Don't talk negatively about your partner to others.

This is a tough one.  Let's get serious - sometimes your partner is going to do something that drives you crazy, or makes you want to go postal on unsuspecting victims.  There are going to be times when you need to vent about it to someone.  Newsflash:  That's okay!  The trick here is to make sure that you're speaking about your partner in an objective way, and not a negative way.  There is no need to drag your significant other through the mud when he/she has done something that doesn't suit you.  You can discuss a situation without ranting about it.  Also, a sidenote here that I've learned from experience:  if you want to have a venting session, it's always better to do this with a friend and not your family.  God love them, but they will judge your partner FOREVER on everything and it doesn't matter if the judgment is made on good things or bad things.

2.  Don't stop planning together for the future.

We, as humans, were designed to move forward.  Stationary is not in our DNA.  When you stop creating dreams with your partner (especially dreams for your future together), you drift apart.  Think about it - it's good to set goals and have dreams for yourself.  I want to get this job.  I want to one day afford a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes.  Whatever floats your boat.  The same is true of your relationship.  Set goals for the future.  One day, let's try to buy a house.  In three years, let's start having children.  Let's renew our vows at ten years.  Let's save our money and plan that amazing vacation we've always talked about.

3.  Don't be automatically defensive.

This is one that I constantly struggle with.  What can I say...I'm nothing if not scrappy.  Sometimes, I have a hard time distinguishing the difference between a calm, constructive conversation and a full-blown ambush-style attack.  I work really hard to practice listening over defending myself because sometimes, it's genuinely not necessary.  Sometimes, people tend to miss the point of the conversation because they're busy plotting their rebuttal to the first thing that was said.  This is not a good, nor effective practice, and therefore, it made my don't list.

4.  Don't be the end-all, be-all in your relationship.

Okay, say it with me, friends - "Smothering leads to death."  I have a hard time keeping my lunch down when I see a couple who is so imbalanced in regards to time spent apart from one another.  I have literally had to force myself to not react or say something I shouldn't when I see someone literally go off because their significant other is hanging out with his or her friends.  Oh, the horror.  It's good for you to have friends.  It's good for your partner to have friends.  It's good for each of you to see said friends on a semi-regular basis.  Everyone gets busy, but time should be made for friends.  If your man/woman wants to have time with their boys/girls, let them go - even if you don't have any plans for yourself.  (Cue horrified face.)  Use that time by yourself to read a book, take a bubble bath, watch a movie that your partner doesn't want to see, do laundry, exercise - take time for YOU.

5.  Don't lose yourself.

This one goes hand-in-hand with number four.  Oftentimes, I've witnessed people who completely change when they start dating someone new.  They're more concerned with being whomever their partner desires rather than being themselves and finding someone who wants who they are.  Here's a fun fact of the day - dating is usually hard.  The "right one" is not dangled in front of your face for a reason - you have to do the work!  That's why you date.  You don't decide that you like someone, then figure out what they like, and then turn yourself into that, all chameleon-like.  It's not healthy.  Don't drop your friends and family and become obsessed with the person you're dating.  The right person will fit into your life because they are a part of your life, not because they've become your entire life.

6.  Don't go to bed angry/don't leave angry.

There are different schools of thought on this one, but I'm on team "don't do it."  I can get behind the "take a few minutes to cool down" scenario, but I cannot accept someone rolling over and going on with life as though nothing happened.  Something happened.  Hash it out in the calmest and most constructive way you can.  The goal is that both parties can go to sleep satisfied about something.  Everything might not work out just the way you wanted it to, but it will be better in the morning, even if you are tired and cranky. I'm also big on not storming out on someone when you're angry.  Number One, you SHOULD NOT be driving when you're that emotional.  Number Two, how is the other person supposed to trust you to stick around if you are constantly showing them that you'll walk out?  No bueno and no me gusta.

7.  Don't allow fear to be the driving force in your relationship.

In life, crap happens. Someone most likely will treat you badly in some form and you will be forced to carry the baggage of that around (maybe even for the rest of your life). While it's unfortunate, you're not alone in this, and the trick is to not let the baggage weigh you down. You cannot punish your new partner for an old partner's mistakes. They are not the same people and should not be compared to one another. It's okay to use what you've learned and experienced in past relationships to make your current relationship better, but you have to really be attentive and know when you're allowing the fear of what happened before hinder what could happen in your future. Don't beat yourself before you even begin something beautiful.

*Sidenote: In all honesty, if you feel your baggage is too heavy to deal with, please seek out a therapist. There is absolutely no shame in that, and there is an entire profession that exists to help people with all kinds of situations! All you have to do is seek help.

8.  Don't value being right over being a loving partner.

If your relationship's dialogue consists more of, "Boom!  In your FACE!" than anything else, there's probably some big issues there.  We all love to feel the high of being right.  Even better?  The high of knowing that other people know you're right.  That's okay, but you have to keep it in check.  Don't put more into proving to your partner that you're right than you do into finding a solution.  Who cares if your partner swore up and down that Richard Gere starred in Dirty Dancing when the entire world knows it was Patrick Swayze?  I've witnessed folks get downright nasty about something as trivial as that, and it was sickening to see them revel in embarassing their partner in front of people.  Uh-uh.  Not cool. Need more info? Check out number one of this very post.

9.  Don't use what you have as a weapon.

Your love. Your intimacy. Your families. Your kids. Your secrets. Your dreams.  All of the things I just listed are the puzzle pieces that your relationship is made of.  These are things that are sacred and precious to you and to your partner.  How many times have you heard someone say, "Oh yeah? Well, you just cost yourself ____."  "You can consider the kitchen closed." "Well, if you're going to be that way, I guess you won't be needing ______."  Do not threaten your partner with any of these things.  That is a low blow to beat all low blows. 

10.  Don't define love as a noun.

Something I've come to understand is that love as a noun is ephemeral. (Ephemeral means 'lasting for a very short time.')  It's conditional.  "I'll love him as long as he never does this."  "If you ever cheat on me, I'll leave."  There are many conditions we've all heard before that "determine" whether or not someone will stay with their partner.  I've also seen so many times where love was spoken but not done.  I try to define love as a verb - it's something that we do.  Saying the words doesn't make them so.  It's the actions that make someone understand that you're in this for the long haul.  I am starting to understand unconditional love in relationships.  I've seen people go through things that I've seen ten other couples end a marriage over.  Guess what?  In about 90% of those cases, the couples who stayed together and worked through their issues are some of the happiest and most fulfilled people I know.  The ones who left?  They've bounced from relationship to relationship because they accept what is as status quo.  They don't stand and fight for their relationships.  I choose love as a verb.

*Sidenote:  There are some things that SHOULD NOT be accepted.  Abuse is one of those things.  Putting your partner in danger is one of those things.  There are always exceptions to any rule, and I would never encourage anyone to "stay and fight" if they're up against someone who takes that literally.  If you find yourself in a situation like that, please ask for help and get out.  The right person is out there waiting for you, and you don't have to take that anymore.

As I've said in the posts before, these are simply lists that I wanted to jot down primarily for myself.  I want to take my own advice and I want to put to action what I've learned over the years.  I'm not qualified, nor should I be used as the end-all, be-all for your relationships.  I don't want any, "Well, Miss Chicken Wing said it so it must be so" situations on my wings. (Get it, I could have said 'hands' but that would be silly.)

I hope we all can help one another out in making our relationships better than ever!  I want us all to be more than happy, and I started this series because I get asked for advice when people see that I've lived through certain situations.  I figured that there may be someone too shy to ask, and maybe these could help you out!


Until next time,

Reverb 10 - Prompt #20

December 20 – Beyond Avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

Wow - great prompt, Jake!  This prompt is one that gets right in your face and makes you take a good, hard, honest look at yourself.  It's no different for me - I'm starting with the Chicken Wing in the mirror (...and I'm asking her to change her ways.  No message could have been any clearer.  If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then MAKE THAT CHANGE!).  Sorry for digressing, but I couldn't stop til I got enough.  Ha!

He-He!  Ow!

I think the constant "what I should have done" for me this year was to be more confrontational.  I should have been more in my own corner than I was.  I get caught up oftentimes in being there for other people much more than I'm there for myself, and that's actually not always a good thing. 

I should have stood up for myself when people did me wrong.  I should have fought for things that I thought I deserved.  I should have been more direct when stating my wishes and wants.  I'm sure fear had something to do with some of these instances, and I think simply being uncomfortable had a lot to do with it too. 

BONUS:  I will be better at this, and have already seen growth in this department.  I've had a few situations recently that needed to be handled with grace, poise, and direct response, and I think I accomplished that!  I try my hardest not to be an avoider because I know as well as the next girl that it really solves nothing.  There's nothing wrong with taking a time-out to get a cleansing breath and a fresh set of thoughts, but if you just talk yourself out of talking it out, you're usually the lesser for it.

Until next time,

MAJOR Irritation

I pride myself on being nice to people.  I would say I have a lot of friends, and that I'm generally well-liked.  I hope my pals would tell you that if they ever needed me, they could count on me to be there for them.  But, I do have another side that doesn't normally make its way into the light.

This alter-ego is Scrappy, as some of my coworkers hilariously dubbed me.  Scrappy is not one to be crossed.  Scrappy will put you in your place and put fear in your heart.  It takes a lot to bring Scrappy out, but I would like to introduce you to one of my worst enemies in the world, someone I have a MAJOR irritation with:

Source

Would it help if I put it in a "her" form?

You know girls are catty. Source

Pardon my french, but Ivy, as we'll call her, is a major cuss word.  She's the meanest of the mean, and she doesn't care if you were having a perfectly good day.  If she wants to take you down, she will.  Granted, you might be one of the few lucky ones who are immune to her, but rest assured, I.am.not.one.of.the.lucky.ones.

Let's just say that I got into a tangle with Ivy and while I am not going to say she won, I will say that she is busy telling all her friends, "Yeah, I look like this but you should see Chicken Wing."  Cuss word, like I said. 

She gets bragging rights.  As for me, I got a 12-day Prednisone schedule, coupled with Claritin twice a day.  Oh, and the skin irritation and agonizing itching that pretty much makes you want to go up to an impressionable friend and convince them to just put you down.

I am happy to report that I finally achieved two nights of continuous sleep where I was not awakened with that dreadful itch at 2am.  Or 4am.  Let's hope we can make it three nights tonight.  Pray for me, Peeps.

Hopefully, this will be the last run-in I have with Ivy for awhile.  I haven't gotten into a fight this bad with her in years, and I hope we can put a few more years in between now and the next time we throw down. 

But, just in case I haven't made myself crystal clear with where I stand in this ongoing fued, let me toss this careful warning out there:

Watch your back, Ivy.  If you have a choice between taking a dark alley or a road with a streetlamp on at night, choose the streetlamp.  You better start using the buddy system.  You are making the Wing very angry...and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

Until next time,

Magical Pixie Dust!

For those of you in the blogging community, especially those like me who have never been considered a computer genius, you know that every cool little thing you discover is like magical pixie dust!  The next thing you know, you swear you just saw a leprechaun walking a unicorn across a rainbow!

My most recent dose of magical pixie dust is the little tiny icon of my beloved damask chicken wing!  You'll notice it by the web address in your browser bar and also on the name of the internet tab where you see THE BLOG OF THE CHICKEN WING.  This was a major victory for me and some of you may be wondering how to accomplish this yourselves, so I figured I wouldn't keep this pixie dust to myself!

For starters, this is called a favicon (fave-eye-con).  It's really just an extra-special touch as it's completely unnecessary, but I happen to like it and think it continues the branding of your site.  So, the first thing I did was read this article --> click here!  It was so easy to understand!  I used the first reference he gave to upload my icon, which was http://www.iconj.com/generator.  After uploading my image, and sharpening +3, I chose option 2, which was "Host It at IconJ.com: (Direct Link)."  I copied and pasted that code instead of the one that the first guy gave, just where he said to put it.  I hit 'Save,' 'View Blog,' and badda bing, badda boom - I had a favicon!  :)

I know this is such a simple accomplishment, but I am very happy to have figured it out finally!  I'd been wondering how to do this for a long time, and just couldn't think of the correct way to search for directions.  But, friends, this is yet another example of why we should never give up.  You'll get there one day, so keep chipping away and using your thinker, and everything will work itself out!  :)

Okay, enough tech talk for me.  I feel the need to go shopping to get back to something I've always been good at.  ;) 

Until next time,
Miss Chicken Wing

A True Honor...

As my faithful followers know, I am a HUGE supporter of the FOX hit show So You Think You Can Dance and last night was their 99th episode (I cannot wait for tonight's show - 100 episodes is a big deal).

Sure, they featured special guest judge Ellen Degeneres, who was hilarious, as usual. But something happened last night that left me honored to have been watching the show.

One of the world's best choreographers, Tyce DiOrio, created a piece that moved absolutely everyone in the audience. He used the power of dance to bring awareness to breast cancer, which has affected so many people. It's hard to imagine knowing someone who hasn't had to deal with cancer of some form, and breast cancer is one of the types that is seemingly unbiased in who it victimizes.

Tyce's number, featuring Top 8 contestants Melissa and Ade, was probably the most touching number I've ever seen, and I think that was evident by the fact that there was NOT a dry eye in the entire audience or judge's panel. I've never seen Head Judge Nigel Lythgoe cry before, but this number took him to a different place than normal, and it seemed that no one could remain composed while critiquing this work of dance excellence and genius. I'd like to share it with you, and if you know anyone who has faced or is facing this disease, please share it with them. I can't say that I've seen a more powerful exhibit of hope, and I want anyone who needs some hope to view this.

I pray that FOX will not take it down, as it raises awareness and creates positivity through adversity. I would never claim to own any rights to something this powerful and moving.

Please enjoy, and to those who are fighting - keep fighting. To those who have fought and won - congratulations. To those who have fought and lost - this piece will insure that everyone knows how hard you tried!

Melissa and Ade - "This Woman's Work" - song by Maxwell
Choreography by Tyce DiOrio

'SYTYCD' Top 8: Melissa & Ade's Contemporary Performance @ Y! TV

Keep fighting, and keep hoping.
Miss Inspired Chicken Wing