Insanity came when I thought that I had enough to "deal with" in the month of April. I don't mean that in a bad way - honest to goodness, I don't. It's just tough to find that point of mental balance. Work has been more than crazy for the past month. I've been busy pretty much every single weekend. I'd fallen way behind on my housework, to the point that I was overwhelmed just thinking of all that still needed to get done. I had the incandescent joy of celebrating my anniversary with Mr. Chicken Wing, and birthdays of people we love most in the world. I received my annual reminder that I haven't seen my daddy in 15 years on the anniversary of his death. Then, while at Sam's Club and barely dragging by while getting much-needed toilet paper and half-and-half in bulk, I got the phone call - the call I first got when I was 10 years old, and life had changed as I knew it.
The next few days were full of phone calls and dead cell phone batteries. There was crying. There was listening. There was consoling. There were hugs, and well wishes. There was planning, and rearranging schedules. I had a very important meeting the morning after I received this news. My brain was pulled down two separate paths simultaneously: The first path led to focus - I had to keep it together. This was my meeting. The second path led to sadness and disbelief. How could I act as though nothing was wrong? He was my friend. To put it mildly, it was chaos. I had a bad day at work on Friday, and it was just way too much for one day...complete sensory overload.
I worked six days last week, and then drove north for the funeral with two of my best friends. We reminisced about Del, and the good times we had. We talked about our regret for having not seen him in such a long time. We pondered these things in silence at some points, too. I also had to formulate my plan of attack in regards to supporting Mr. Chicken Wing. This was very hard for him, because he knew Del longer than me, of course. It was also so hard because this was his first time losing a peer. Unfortunately, I've had quite a bit more experience in this area, so I knew how I would handle it. I didn't know what Mr. Chicken Wing would feel, or how he would react. I just knew I wanted to be there for him. I also knew I wanted to give him a huge hug.
The friend I received "the call" from, Del, and Miss Chicken Wing
The fraternity brothers at two of my best friends' wedding...the bride, groom, and I rode up to the funeral services together. Can you spot Mr. Chicken Wing?
So, I once again want to apologize for the super light posting recently. I try not to let myself get so overwhelmed that the cell phone (aka Miss Chicken Wing) has to shut down. I plan to start picking myself back up here in the coming days. I know that when I finally catch up on my sleep that things will be better.
For now, my only constant thought is just, "remember to breathe."
Until next time,
Miss Chicken Wing